This is fun to do! Just read the "offense" and if you've done it, you owe that fine. Keep going until you've read each "offense" and add up your total fine.

Smoked pot -- $10

Injected a drug -- $15

Did acid -- $5

Ever had sex at church -- $25

Woke up in the morning and didn't know the person next to you-- $40  *

Yelled at someone you didn't even know -- $10  *

Had sex with someone on MySpace -- $25

Cut yourself -- $15

Had sex for money -- $100

Stripped for money -- $35

Vandalized something -- $20

Had sex on your parents' bed -- $10

Beat up someone -- $20

Been jumped -- $10  *

Crossed dressed -- $10

Given money to stripper -- $25  *

Skipped school/work -- $15  *

Been in love with a stripper -- $20

Kissed someone who's name you didn't know --$10  *

Ran a red light on purpose -- $10  *

Hit on someone of the same sex while at work-- $15

Ever drive drunk -- $20

Cheated on an exam -- $25

Had the police tell you to turn down your music -- $20

Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $50

Used toys while having sex -- $30  *

Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20  *

Punched someone -- $10

Broken something in anger -- $5  *

Went skinny dipping -- $5  *

Had sex in a pool -- $20  *

Gotten pregnant/gotten somone pregnant on accident -- $45

Lied to your parents -- $5  *

Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10  *

Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20

Threatened to kill someone and meant it -- $40

Cheated on your significant other -- $10

Masturbated -- $10  *

Hit something with your car but didn't tell anyone -- $35  *

Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend --$20

Done oral -- $5  *

Got oral -- $5  *

Done / got oral in a car while it was moving-- $25  *

Stole something -- $10

Prank called 911 or the police -- $25

Lied to your friends about having sex -- $10

Had sex with someone in jail -- $25

Made a nasty home video -- $15  *

Had a threesome -- $50

Ate something off the floor -- $5  *

Had sex in the wild -- $20  *

Lied about your age -- $5

Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- $25

You own a fake ID -- $ 10

You've used a fake ID -- $30

Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars -- $20

Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20

Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- $25

Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50

Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25

Went streaking -- $5

Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15

Been arrested -- $5

Spent time in jail -- $15

Peed in the pool -- $5

Have consumed alcohol -- $10   *

Played spin the bottle -- $5

Done something you regret -- $20  *

Gotten a speeding ticket -- $20  *

Had sex with your best friend -- $20  *

Smoke everyday -- $25

Had sex with someone you work with at work --$25

Lied to your mate -- $5

Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $25

Okay, now tally up your answers, copy and paste and repost. In the subject of your post put "My Bail Is... (your total).

My Bail Is: $405

You are a married male with two children, and you are having an extramarital affair. Your lover is a religious person, and even though you are a professed atheist, she wants you to go to church with her on Christmas. So, you know where your friends and acquaintances go to church, so you agree to go to Midnight Mass at a downtown church, in a town where you are sure you won’t run into anyone who knows you. You arrive early and sit on the side away from the door. Everything looks ok. Then, in walks a group of friends of yours that includes your wife’s best friend! What are they doing here? They don’t go to church in this town! Omg, now what? They are sitting right across from us, and Frank looked right at me! Act like I don’t see them. Don’t look at them. Slide down in the pew. Is she going to tell my wife?

What do you imagine he would be thinking during the service? Do you think he would be formulating excuses? How do you explain not being with your family on Christmas? Maybe being arrogant and feeling justified enough that he doesn’t need to explain himself? Or just resolving to not worry about it until it hits the fan? Do you think he heard anything that was said during the homily?

We decided to do something different for church on Christmas this year. Rather than go to the usual Christmas Eve evening Mass or a Christmas Day Mass in the morning, we decided to go to a downtown church that had a 12:00 AM Mass on Christmas Day. We entered right before the start of Mass, and sat on the side near the door. As we slid into the pew, I noticed someone I thought was a friend of mine sitting across the aisle. He was unshaven and looked like he had just gotten out of bed. Is that really him? He is with that woman next to him, and she is holding his hand, maybe it is someone who looks a lot like him. Don’t jump to conclusions. I couldn’t help looking over there, almost staring, until I could get a good look at his face, which was mostly turned away from me. I finally got that good look. Yep, no mistake, it is definitely him. I leaned over to Best Friend and whispered “Did you get a load of who is across the aisle?” Best Friend turned and looked. Jaw dropped. Eyes widened. She looked back at me and whispered “That can’t be -----, can it? Who’s that woman he is with? That’s not ------ (his wife)!”  *pause for another look*  “That is someone else, someone who just looks like him… isn’t it?” “No” I replied. “It is him, definitely.” Sadness and concern sets in on Best Friend’s face. After the Mass, we leave, he leaves, no recognition takes place.

His wife is a better friend to me than he is, so should I say anything? Should I confront him and tell him how I feel about his treatment of his wife and kids? What about me? Would I do the same thing? How would I feel about myself if I did? What if our roles were reversed? Would he keep his mouth shut? Does he want to get “caught?” I decided that I wasn’t going to say anything. After all, I already know what he is like. Was Best Friend going to tell his wife? Should she?

Epilogue:

Over this last weekend, during a conversation between Wife and Best Friend, the subject of Husband “finding religion” came up. Convenient, no? Now, I got this scenario second hand from Best Friend.

Best Friend: “Yeah, we saw him Christmas Eve at church.”

Wife: “You did? Where? When?”

Best Friend: At Midnight Mass, down at -----.”

Wife: “I’ll bet he wasn’t alone, was he?”

Best Friend: “No, he was with a woman I didn’t recognize.”

Wife starts crying.

Wife: “I know he has been fooling around. I found the bill for the blood tests he had for Syphilis and AIDS.” He isn’t coming near me anymore!”

I didn’t get the rest of the discussion.

Epilogue 2:

This week, Wife confronted Husband. He admits to having multiple partners, male and female, pretty regularly. He claims to have taken part in trysts and orgies, mixed male and female. His kids hate him and won’t talk to him at all. Wife is considering next steps.

In a way, you have to feel sorry for the sucker, but if he is telling the truth, I have NEVER had that kind of fun. And I won’t!

What do you think?